Thursday, August 27, 2009

Three's company

*Disclaimer- this is intended to be completely lighthearted! I am very thankful for all the love and support that Randy and I have received*

So- a funny thing happens when you have a baby- people disappear. When you are pregnant everyone gets so excited and vows their every spare moment to your every possible need! In honor of this phenomenon I would like to make a top ten list of things I never thought that I would say pre-parenthood. However- I say these so frequently that I could only come up with 6- oh well. What is so great about these is they are all considered acceptable topics of discussion at the dinner table (only amongst other parents- some people get grossed out- obviously they aren't around often enough to find any of these funny)

Things I NEVER thought I'd say before the birth of my daughter... here goes!

6. "She only crapped on 2 outfits today!"
5. "Did she poop yet today? I fed her prunes and I wanted to see if her poo came out purple!"
4. "Yeah! She pooped!"
3. "Please be sure to put that outfit in the 'to be oxycleaned' PILE"
2. "I love how cute it is when she farts in the morning"
1. "I have boogers on my shoulder? Today must be my day- just one shoulder!"

This entry was prompted by the onslaught of status updates on facebook regarding babies. I have a few select friends of mine who have had babies "before the curve"- for them I will be eternally grateful. Without the likes of Jessie F., Jessie B., Heidi, Brianne and Kelly- I would have been completely lost. I am starting to feel like a "veteran parent" now that everyone else is finally getting married and having their planned babies. Odd, seeing as I have only been a mommy for a little over half a year.

So- to all you parents to be- congrats! Here is my advice to you- register for size 3 and up diapers, invest in stain removal spray and enjoy the company you keep as of now. Once you have a "scream machine" they will all leave you until they have their own :)

Also- to those amazing women who are trying so hard to get pregnant- enjoy the process! Screaming babies are the anti- aphrodisiac. Eitherway, hang in there- it is so worth it. Oh and Ash- I had a dream about you and babies the other night!


  1. I was in the grocery store the other day, when I realized that Thatcher had a huge and very gooey booger on his face - not having a tissue with me, I promptly grabbed it and wiped it on the inside hem of my shirt. Upon seeing this, a very nice Publix lady asked me if I needed a napkin. I said "no thanks, we're good!" (like what she had just witnessed was totally normal)....yes, things change when you become a Mommy....

  2. Haha - I guess it's a good thing I'm so open about poop now. Won't come as quite a shock, right? ;)

    Oh yay - keep having those baby dreams, I'll take any help I can get.